Sometimes you have to laugh, right?
I mean, when life seems to never let up you can really and truly go down with the ship! I GET it! I really do!
I have vowed to be authentic on this blog and I absolutely try to be, sometimes even to a fault perhaps.
As I have shared with all you, Garrick and I have been on a wild roller coaster ride in our marriage for the last few years. I can tell you in all honesty, this man IS the love of my life. That has NEVER, EVER changed. What happens is that love gets buried under layers of hurt and disappointment that Satan wants you to believe is your destiny in marriage.
This is the hard and solid truth.... love never dies.... it becomes buried. Buried under the pain, the hurt, the anger and bitterness, but if that love existed at one time.... it will never die.
The only way it dies is if you refuse to dig through those layers together to allow that love to breath and resurface once again. It does take effort and for sure you can feel like you will never, ever find it beneath all of the dirt and muck you have thrown on top of it. And if both partners are not on board, it may sadly, stay suffocating beneath muck.
But like a hidden treasure.... I promise you it is there.
God tells us clearly in the Bible, that LOVE NEVER FAILS. (1 Corinthians 13). Any love can be salvaged if you dig and work at it hard enough.
So, my husband and I have been thrown a plethora of lemons in these past years... we are learning that ...
"sometimes life throws you lemons... sometimes it throws you the whole darn tree!"
Humor aside, because as I mentioned sometimes we need to laugh!!! That is without a doubt been the story of our lives for what seems like way too long.
I have my own thoughts as to why this has occurred. Garrick and I were intense advocates for happy and God filled marriages. We have counseled couples, we have participated in marriage Bible studies as well as attended marital conferences in order to continue to strengthen our marriage.
Everyone kind of find their "nitch" in ministry. This was ours, for a long period of time. I had a good friend tell me one time that Satan's goal is to destroy God's church.... by taking out... one family at a time.
I believe Satan saw us as a threat to His evil plan and so our marriage became his target. One of the ways I believe we made a little easier for him is we truly never, ever thought anything could tear us apart. Perhaps we were too prideful?
It was often difficult for us to understand why others had such a difficulty making marriage work. For us, it really felt effortless most of the time.
We learned..... how very difficult it can become!
Now, when I tell you that we were not just thrown lemons... but had an entire tree hurled at our heads.... I am not just a whistling Dixie! No, no, no!! I mean nearly EVERY. SINGLE. TIME Garrick and I would get back on, what was a normal path for us, WHAMO!!
I could almost hear Satan say... "HA.... TAKE THIS!!!"
Now, I am not saying it is 100% Satan's fault as we as humans have free will and have the option to make good or bad choices. Both Garrick and I have made some bad choices, for sure, however, the struggles and temptations for falter have been non stop it seems.
On October 28th we will celebrate our 16 year anniversary!! It will be a celebration for us as we are still STANDING against the monstrous tree that has been thrown our direction.
Have you been there folks? Maybe not in your marriage, but perhaps with your job, financially, with your children, with relationships in general, maybe your health? Where you just can't seem to catch a break.
I understand. I really do. The struggle is real and the battle can get downright exhausting. Last night I found myself ugly crying in the bathtub as we are supposed to leave for an anniversary weekend tomorrow and my husband became ill on Tuesday and is still not feeling well.
This is what I am talking about. We are so looking forward to this. We need it badly. We planned on just enjoying each others' company and perhaps working on our devotional. It would be incredibly healing.
WHAMO! Take this..... hubby's sick!
I got in quite a funk last night, as I have been holding out hope and faith that he would start feeling better, but I did not see that happening, so I succumb to a puddle of tears, forgetting God's promise to me...
"Commit your plans to God and they shall succeed." Proverbs 16:3
Those lemons were sure making me sour! It is amazing what a night can do and how God can work on your heart... even while you sleep.
This morning my outlook was much less sour and I was able to accept God's will, whatever it may be.
I am still not happy about it, don't get me wrong. I have all the normal questions... "Why God, I know you want us to continue to strengthen our marriage. I know it pleases you to see us connecting together with You. Why allow Garrick to be sick."
The answer I received I didn't necessarily like, but it is SOO God.... "Because I want you to learn to bond and strengthen even with the circumstances are not ideal in your eyes!"
So, even though I feel I am sitting among the scratchy brush of that lemon tree, I will be still... and know He is God.
That's what you do. You let Him work and while you sit still, make yourself some lemonade!!!
It is easy to love God and love my husband when situations are ideal.... the real test is.... will I love them..... even in a sour situation?
How about you?
I pray..... for all who are sitting with their lemon tree today... may you be strengthened through the struggle and find rest among the branches!
Peace and Blessings