<![CDATA[A Woman Redeemed - Meaningful Messy Marriage]]>Thu, 20 Jul 2017 08:31:37 -0700Weebly<![CDATA[My LACK of Patience in Traveling...... Another Area God has Given me to Work On!!]]>Tue, 18 Apr 2017 12:14:26 GMThttp://awomanredeemed.com/meaningful-messy-marriage/my-lack-of-patience-in-traveling-another-area-god-has-given-me-to-work-on
I am FINALLY getting adjusted to returning to "real life."  After 5 glorious days in paradise, real life kind of smacks ya up side the head!! LOL

My body was back in Iowa in parent mode, but my mind was still basking on the beaches of Puerto Vallarta! I am all good now!

Our trip was such a blessing, not just because of the relaxation, the gorgeous scenery and having food and drink at our 24 hour disposal, but because of the valuable lessons we learned along the way. 

First off, as much as I have grown in patience.....God revealed to me through traveling that I still have a looooong way to go!! LOL  For example, I found myself easily frustrated getting on and off the plane as it take some individuals a light year to place their carry on bag in the upper bin!  Some even like to chit chat while doing so prolonging the activity even longer.  Why I think I should be able to get on and off a plane quickly.... I do not know!  

Something I really need to work on!! LOL

Also, there are all kinds of little inconveniences that can take place when traveling that I guess I knew of, but never thought we effect me!!

We had a very short lay over between flights.  We left DesMoines and flew to Dallas/ Ft. Worth to catch a connecting flight to Puerto Vallara!  Well, I thought a short lay over was a good thing! 

NOT!

For starters our we sat on the run way in Des Moines for an hour while they tended to "mechanical issues," (very comforting by the way!) and by the time we took off, it was pretty inevitable that we were going to miss our connecting flight in Dallas.  We only had a 45 minute lay over and the Dallas Airport is the size of Albia!  It is HUGE!  You have to take a tram to get from one gate to another!

When we got off the plane in Dallas there was a not so kind airport employee telling everyone, "YOU MISSED YOUR CONNECTING FLIGHTS, you will have to get a new boarding pass and book another flight!"

I immediately came unglued!  As I am not a world traveler I did not know what this meant!  Would we be stuck in Dallas for days?  Are we going to miss days of our beautiful trip to Mexico?  I was not a happy camper.  Garrick remained calm of course, making me look even more frantic, but in the end, it ended up totally fine!  We were able to get on the next flight which was just a little over an hour from the time we got the boarding pass and it gave us time to use the potty and grab a snack!

So already, before we have even gotten to our final destination, God has showed me two areas that I got a big fat FFF in patience!! LOL

I learned a few more along the way!  When we finally got off the plane in Mexico and you are so excited to get out and see that beautiful scenery you paid so much to see..... you can't!!  
Now it is time to fill out all kinds of customs paperwork and to top it off, there is really know where to do this, so you are sitting on the floor of the airport trying to scrounge pens so you can fill out paperwork that seems to repeat itself over and over.  I was able to keep my mouth closed pretty well as I didn't want to draw attention to myself in the Mexican customs line (LOL) however, my patience was wearing pretty thin!!

The flights home were more major lessons!  Garrick ended up sick, so that was a little inconvenient though he handled well, but I had no idea getting back into our country would take even more patience than trying to get out!! LOL

Oh the lines!!! LINES OF PEOPLE EVERYWHERE!  Garrick wound up getting a very personal pat down by security because he forgot to take his belt off and almost got us in hot water in the Mexico airport for accidentally packing his pocket knife in his carry on rather than his checked bag!!  

I seriously gave him the look of death for that one!  

In case anyone wanted to know, I assure you, the US does and excellent job of assuring your safety while flying!  Though it is all inconvenient, it was worth every line and pat down to assure we were flying safely!

So there you have it!  I have a ways to go in the world of traveling!  I was really thinking I was improving with this whole patience thing, however, flying the friendly skies taught me otherwise!!!! LOL

Stay tuned for more updates on our wonderful trip!!!!

It is good to be back!

Peace and Blessings
Your Friend 
Missy
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<![CDATA[Marriage Monday!!  Our Restoration Celebration!!!]]>Mon, 03 Apr 2017 12:39:36 GMThttp://awomanredeemed.com/meaningful-messy-marriage/marriage-monday-our-restoration-celebration
There are a lot of things worth celebrating in life! 

We celebrate weddings, new babies, birthdays, anniversaries, promotions and so many other wonderful events...... but this week..... Garrick and I will celebrate something extremely precious to us.....

Not our marriage per se......not our anniversary...... but something that actually something that trumps both of those thing..... the gift of restoration. 

A year ago at this time, my heart was wounded....beyond what I thought, could ever be repaired.  The situation we were facing at that time left me feeling hopeless and despaired and questioning how my heart could ever find it's way back to the love and trust I once knew in our marriage.

Though I had many people around me telling me that it was possible and that God was good..... all the time.... and though I really did believe He was..... I was at a point that I wasn't even sure if I had the strength to try anymore.  

So.... I did what God asked of me..... which was a simple directive that took en enormous amount of strength.... I chose to live one day.... one hour.... one minute at a time.  I surrounded myself with encouraging support from fellow believers and I clung to God like white on rice.  

With every ounce of energy I had left, I placed my trust in His hands and not in my husband's words, actions or abilities.  

I allowed God to show me His faithfulness..... and His perfect timing..... and this..... taught me so much in terms of patience and faithfulness.  

Oh, I had days that I questioned what I was doing and I certainly had moments where I felt I was walking a road that was sure to continue in pain and heartache..... BUT God.  

He loves me.  He promises good to me.  He promises He will not give me pain without allowing something beautiful to be born from it. 

And God is nothing if not faithful.  

Today.... I sit here with more gratitude than I can put into words as I look at my husband, whom God touched one day and restored him back to the man I married.  I can laugh with him again.  I can cry on his shoulder again.  I can share my pains, my hurts and my struggles with him again.  And day by day..... moment by moment.... I can continue to give him back little pieces of my heart that I had locked far away from him for a very long time.  

There are still moments of pain, memories fade but never completely die.  There are still moments of unnecessary panic and anxiety and there are still moments I have to fight back anger and resentment.  But they are becoming less and less.  

We fly away Friday morning to Puerta Vallarta, Mexico.... where we will celebrate God's gift of restoration!!!

This IS a celebration!  This IS money well invested!  And we give God the glory for every single moment we will share in this little paradise!

If you are finding yourself in a season of restoration or even if you and your spouse have made it over the hump of what appeared to be an impossible mountain top..... CELEBRATE!!  

Celebrate God's goodness and celebrate each other!  Show the world that overcoming one of Satan's evil tactics to separate what God has joined together is a victory well worth celebrating!!

Peace and Blessings
Your Friends
Missy and Garrick 

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<![CDATA[What it's like being married to me......]]>Mon, 27 Mar 2017 12:28:57 GMThttp://awomanredeemed.com/meaningful-messy-marriage/what-its-like-being-married-to-me
Yesterday, I was extremely lazy and never got around to getting a marriage devotion typed up.  Aside from my obvious slothiness, I was struggling to hear God and any message that He may want me to convey.  

This morning, as I was laying in bed I suddenly had a topic plant in my mind.... "What it's Like to be Married to Me."  I continued to listen, thinking, surely God has something a whole lot more beneficial and interesting for me to share, but I listened to no avail.  

I heard loud and clear.... share your view point of what it is like to be in a non breakable covenantal union with YOU!  Hmmmmm REALLY??  LOL 

Okay.... for You God, I will take on this challenge!  

Part of humbling ourselves enough to make a difference in our marriage is recognizing our flaws and faults.  It is very easy to pin everything on our spouse without doing a full blown self examination.  If both spouses commit to doing this.... it can save you from most arguments and quarrels.  Very often, the little things we find "annoying" or "troublesome" with our spouse, set off something equally or more annoying and troublesome in us.  We have to take a long hard look!

Along with recognizing our faults we must also have a strong grasp on our strengths and positive qualities!  We all DO have some and it is imperative that we bring these to the table in our relationships.  We often want to stuff these, especially if we are angry or frustrated with our spouse.  When their negative qualities rear their ugly head... that does not mean ours have to as well!  Don't stuff them... continue to use them!  A lesson I still have a long way to go in learning!  Trust me!  

So here is what my self examination looks like!  Here is what I believe it is like being married to me....... 

1. I can be moody and easily overwhelmed at times, especially if I am hormonal!  

2. When I am moody, I prefer to be left alone.

3. I love to laugh and I love stupid things to laugh at.  I wish I could belly laugh every day!

4. I am NOT a night person!  Sometimes that night owl comes out, but normally, NOT!  

5. My am very sensitive.  My heart is pretty fragile, especially after the long hard season we just came out of.  This can be a positive in our marriage, but also a big negative.  It is something I continue to work on.  I am at least aware of it!

6. I struggle when other appear "lazy."  It is a struggle for me to sit and rest, therefore, I can be judgey when others want to do this.  Sorry dear. 

7. I LOVE little surprises!  My life is pretty monontonous, like most other peoples, so I love a little something out of the ordinary!

8.  On the contrary....I DON'T LOVE negative surprises!!! LOL I like routine and stability and anything that throws a monkey wrench in that, often throws one in me as well!

9. I love to make our house a home!  I love to decorate and make our home cozy.  I want others to feel welcome and at home in our house and we live pretty much with an open door policy!

10. I like attention and affection, but not always!! LOL  Sometimes I just want to lay like a corpse and be left alone!  I often expect my poor husband to know which mood I am in!  Sorry again dear!

11. I am a bit of a romantic!  I love, love notes, surprises, candles and foot rubs!   


12. I like to keep my house tidy!  Not perfect and I struggle with organization, but I thrive in a tidy home.  When things are a total disaster, I tend to get a bit bent!

13. I love to bake treats for my family and others!  Though I have become more tame in this area as life has gotten busier, I still enjoy it!

14. I get burned out more often than I care to.  I struggle with finding balance in taking time away even when I don't think I need it, to avoid the inevitable burn out that will come if I don't!

15. I cook A LOT!  I do like to cook, but I often get tired of this as well!  I get frustrated with the complaints over the weekly menu, so I allow that to steal some of my joy of cooking!

16. I am NOT a perfectionist and I don't care much about detail! I go for the illusion of perfection.  FYI, I am married to a perfectionist!!  Do you see the struggle????  LOL

17. I don't screw lids on tight enough, sometimes, not at all!

18. When I am burned out, angry, frustrated or miffed, I get quiet.  

19. I worry too much about things I can't control!  Another thing I am really trying to allow God to curtail!

20. I have a forgiving heart.  It may take me time to move past certain things, but my heart is very open to forgiveness.  

21.  I love the Lord, and though may struggle, desire to put Him first in all I do!

22.  I am a dedicated mama, who desires more than anything to love my children and train them to love the Lord!

23.  I am empathetic and very aware of other's feelings. 

24. I am pretty easily entertained!  I am happy snuggling on the couch with a snack and movie!

25. I am not really adventurous or a risk taker!  Safety is key!! LOL

26. Coming out of the season we have been in, I have not been as diligent about this, but over all it is important for my husband to be happy and I want to make him feel glad he married me, every day of his life!

So there you have it!  I am sure there is more my husband could add, but I am out of time and thoughts! LOL  

Do a self assessment!  What is like to be married to you??? Is it a good thing or not so much??

Take heart friend.... God can CHANGE anything!!!!

Peace and Blessings
Your Friend
Missy
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<![CDATA[Marriage Moments with Missy and Garrick..... Spouse with Benefits]]>Mon, 20 Mar 2017 12:13:00 GMThttp://awomanredeemed.com/meaningful-messy-marriage/marriage-moments-with-missy-and-garrick-spouse-with-benefits
Yesterday,, we discussed the topic of benefits!!  

When you hunt for a job, often you look at the benefits the company offers.  Sometimes, you may even be prone to choose the job with the better benefits over the pay.  Benefits can draw you in or deter you from anything!!

Marriage offers many benefits as well; companionship, help, support, physical intimacy, friendship and a partner who hopefully always has your back. But most importantly, if you have a spouse that loves the Lord and places God above all else in his or her life, you reap the wonderful and beautiful benefits of their relationship with Christ as well!

A spouse that loves the Lord will never be perfect, but God will show them how to prioritize their life and how to love others.  God is a master at both things!!

Garrick and I have walked through seasons where we were both doing very well with placing God first and prioritizing well and we have also reaped the negative consequences of failing to do so.  

As we discussed this I shared that a struggle I have consistently struggled with after having children, is giving my spouse my left overs at night.  Being home with the kiddos all day and homeschooling does not wear me out physically, but can mentally drain me to the point where all I want to do when Garrick gets home is stare mindlessly into space in a quiet room filled with chocolate!

I don't want one more person to ask one more thing of me!  When I see Garrick's truck pull in I came to look at it is my reprieve finally arriving rather than my husband being to home spend time with me!

This has been especially difficult as Garrick's top love language is physical affection and verbal affirmations.  So here he comes home from a long day at work and all he wants is  hug, kiss and a welcome from his wife and instead he gets me whizzing past him, passing the baton of parenting with zero affection.  

Though he understands and most all parents can understand that type of mental drainage from constant parenting demands, this is a sure sign of misplaced priorities.  It is not purposeful, yet once I realize this, it is my job to ask God how to curb it.  

I am currently reading a book that is helping me learn how to do just that!!!  Desperate by Sarah Mae and Sally Clarkson.  It gives practical ways to care for myself during the day, so I am not completely drained when my husband walks in the door.  I am also still working how my issue with taking other's emotions and problems on to carry.  I have to learn that some burdens are not mine to carry and I need to leave them with the person they belong to.  This is very hard for me and has been a lifelong battle.  I trust God will deliver me from this in His timing!
Garrick shared that now that he is healthy and completely sober from anything mind altering, he is able to prioritize very well and I totally agree with this.  

He shared that when we first became Christians  and when we first started the church, he struggled with putting so much emphasis on ministry and church functions he neglected his family.  I remember feeling resentful at times when he was prepping a sermon for hours on end or leaving to go to another church function, continuously leaving me to care for the children.  The hard thing is this would appear like a good thing from the outside, he was focusing on God, however, God would never ask so much of him that his family be neglected.  That was his struggle with learning to prioritize.  

Obviously during his season of addiction it was hard to prioritize anything.  God certainly went to the wayside and in turn, everything became out of balance and neglected.  We would both agree this was an ugly time and in turn our family was not flourishing the way God intended.  
Now that God has us back on track.... I can see the beautiful benefits slowly reappearing in our lives.  Garrick is extremely diligent in prioritizing God now, and in turn he is placing everything else in his life in proper order.  I never feel neglected by him, even with his full time job and trying to build a garage and raise four children, he always makes his love for me known and obvious.  

I feel blessed every day to have my God loving husband back!!! 

What did you and your spouse assess were your struggles with prioritizing???

It is never too late to get on the right track!

Ask God what need to be done, be obedient and then sit back and watch your family grow and flourish!!!

Peace and Blessings
Your Friends
Missy and Garrick
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<![CDATA[Marriage Moments with Missy and Garrick...... "Spouses with Benefits!"]]>Sun, 19 Mar 2017 17:33:01 GMThttp://awomanredeemed.com/meaningful-messy-marriage/marriage-moments-with-missy-and-garrick-spouses-with-benefitsMeaningful, Messy Marriage
❤Moments ❤

(Learning to Let God Lead….. One Day at a Time)
-A Woman Redeemed
Hello my friends!!!!  

Today's marriage devotion is about benefits!!  

 Did you know that there are many benefits to being married???? LOL  I know, I know, there may been times that you have questioned if this is true.... but I promise.... it is!!!  

Aside from the benefits of having one another for company and for help when we need it.... and to help meet needs only our spouse can meet..... the benefits we will talk about today are the benefits we reap when we have a spouse that loves the Lord above all else!!!

Believe it or not..... we receive direct benefits from our spouse if they have a solid and established relationship with God.  Consequently, we also reap the negative effects of a spouse that does not know the Lord or place Him above all else in their life.  

God is very good at keeping our priorities straight and our thoughts and action Godly.  Without Him, it is VERY easy to slip into a pattern of embracing idols and neglecting the very things God desires for us to place first in our lives.  Satan LOoooooVVVVeeeessss this!!  And Satan is so crafty, that he will often present these things as "good" things; things that are beneficial to you.  

An example is a hobby.  Hobbies are good right?  Hobbies allow us to express our creativity and are used an a stress outlet and much needed relaxation.  HOWEVER, hobbies are often placed above God and when this happens, people often struggle prioritizing their hobby in it's proper place.  A hobby should never become more important than our relationship with the Lord or our spouse and family.  

We are going to focus in on this scripture.....

"Blessed is everyone who fears the Lord, who walks in his ways! You shall eat the fruit of your labor of your hands; you shall be blessed, and it all should be well with you.  Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your children will be like olive shoots around your table." Psalm 128:1-3

Though this scripture sounds as though it is mainly focusing in our men, we can apply this scripture to both husband and wives!!!  

What we can learn from this scripture is very simple...... when we put the Lord first...... the rest of our lives will fall into their proper place.  Our spouses will flourish, our children will flourish, you will be blessed.  It takes the guess work out of prioritizing because God will make sure your priorities are in proper order.  

In this last difficult season Garrick and I went through, the effects of misplacing God in our lives were devastating.  They always are, be assured of that.  We are still reaping the negative consequences from this and though God will no doubt, completely restore us, we will never be able to erase the past from our memories or our children's. 

This is where we discuss balance......when you put God first..... your spouse will reap the benefits.... naturally.  In order to do this.... you have to have your daily priorities in proper order.  

Today.... this is what we shall work through in this devotion.  

1.  Take some time and make a list with your spouse of your daily priorities.  

2.  Assess how your prioritize these daily priorities.

3.  Is your current way of prioritizing helping your spouse and children flourish?

4.  Do you need to adjust your way of prioritizing???

In order for our marriages and families to flourish, we must have our priorities stacked God's way....

*God
*Spouse
*Children
*Work

A great acronym I learned to prioritize life is JOY!  Jesus Others You.  This does not mean you should not take care of you.  That is also a necessity, however, we should not constantly be placing our self and our needs above everyone else's and never above God!

This also does not mean we slack off at our jobs, what it means is, you have to be willing to pass up the promotion to make it to your date night with your spouse or your child's game.  Money means nothing if you die alone.  You may climb the corporate ladder, but when you reach the top, you are standing alone.  

Tomorrow, I will share with you what Garrick and I discovered about our own priorities and how this negatively or positively effects our marriage!!!

Peace and Blessings
Your Friends
Missy and Garrick 
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<![CDATA[Marriage Moments with Missy and Garrick...." Your Most Effective Ministry... Will Come From Your Deepest Hurts."]]>Mon, 27 Feb 2017 12:57:22 GMThttp://awomanredeemed.com/meaningful-messy-marriage/marriage-moments-with-missy-and-garrick-the-bright-side
Our focus for this week is focusing on God's promise in Romans 8:28 to work ALL things for good for those that love Him!  There is a very important disclaimer here.... this promise specifically applies to "those that love God," this is not promised to those who do not walk with the Lord.  Those who choose the world and run from God, forgo all of God's beautiful and hope filled promises.  

The other important little tid bit to point out here is what loving God looks like.  Jesus states in John 14:15 "If you love me, you will keep my commandments." Loving God goes way deeper than just a verbal expression of loving Him, loving Him means, though you are not perfect at it, not will you ever be, your heart is focused on living for Christ and upholding His commandments.  

CHOOSE GOD! LOVE GOD! FOLLOW GOD!

Okay... so back to the marital focus regarding this scripture.  Our goal was to look at all of the seemingly bad and difficult seasons we have had in our marriages and begin identifying all of the ways God used that situation for good, as He promises.  

We can get our minds and hearts so fixed on the negative and struggle that we fail to see what God was using that situation for to our benefit.  He promises to do just that..... if we love. Him.

In yesterday's post I shared just ONE of the ways that God used our recent painful season for good, as our son expressed he believes God allowed him to live through that painful season with his parents to see the devastating effects substance abuse has and to deter him even more from wanting to use drugs or alcohol.  

That is a MAGNIFICENT praise for Garrick and I.  We are not so naive to believe our son could never fall prey to such things, but we are so grateful that out of a horrible season in his life, God used it to teach him something extremely beneficial and life changing!

As I pondered all of our difficult seasons and all of the "good" God made out of them, I compiled a list of the "good."  God has not wasted one painful experience He has given us.  Here is a short list of the beauty we have seen come from ashes.....

1. Teaching our children how strong they are and that even the seemingly hopeless.... can be restored with God.

2. Building our faith in God's restoring and sovereign power!
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Author Unknown

3. Teaching us to find contentment even when life is uncomfortable and scary.

4. Learning the God will always provide, even when your hands are empty!

5. Giving us a whole new level of empathy and compassion for others that may travel the same road. 

6. Taking judgement out of our hearts, understanding that not one person in this world is beyond a great fall. And when you walk away from God.... that fall is sure to come!

7. Teaching an entirely new level of forgiveness and what this does in growing our hearts to be more like Christ. 

8. Teaching us the strength God can equip us with.  That we are "warriors" and more than conquerors!

9. Learning to lean on and trust in God, not man, not even our spouse.  God is our everything... when everything falls. 

10.  Learning that God's timing is perfect!  Not always in our eyes, but He has the perfect timing laid out for the perfect purpose.  

What are ways God has used your painful seasons for good????  You would not have the strength you have today.... without the seasons that required you to build it!  

Peace and Blessings
Your Friends
Missy and Garrick


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<![CDATA[Marriage Moments with Missy and Garrick.... Discovering Good in the Seemingly Bad.]]>Sun, 26 Feb 2017 13:49:25 GMThttp://awomanredeemed.com/meaningful-messy-marriage/marriage-moments-with-missy-and-garrick-discovering-good-in-the-seemingly-badMeaningful, Messy Marriage
❤Moments ❤

(Learning to Let God Lead….. One Day at a Time)
-A Woman Redeemed
I will be the first to admit that it can be very easy for me to slip into a "negative" funk.  Unfortunately, this has always been a bit of my personality.  When something stressful or difficult happens, it is very hard for me to find the silver lining while I am walking through it.  I tend to be a reactor.  I react then I calm down and ponder, allow God to speak and work and then I am able to take it down an notch or 80!! LOL  This kind of runs in my family.  I really don't like this trait, but I have found it to be one of the most difficult to break.  It is a deep rooted stronghold, very much imbedded into my personality.  This is by no means an excuse to keep allowing it to govern me, but it is most difficult to break!

This little struggle of mine has become significantly better since becoming a believer.  Others may not agree, but believe me, I know it has!! LOL  And truly, the biggest issue with the overreacting is it takes God completely out of the equation and puts the circumstances and my catastrophic thinking on His throne.  If I truly believe, which I most certainly do, that God is in control and has purpose for every single thing He does in my life, there is no reason to overreact!!  This is a hard one for me to grasp!  

What I would like to share and focus on today is God's promise in the book of Romans, that I can see playing out right before my very eyes and I will explain to you how!  The other day my husband shared with me that he had a pretty significant talk with are 14 year old son.  I will not share the details of the conversation, but what I will share is my son asked Garrick if he though that maybe God allowed my husband to go through the struggle with addiction just to teach him, never to use drugs or alcohol?  My son told my husband that he has no desire to do such things as he experienced the devastating effects that they had on him and our family.  

That.... was a huge praise to Garrick and I.  Now, I am not at all saying that my son could not fall prey to these destructive substances in the future, but I am extremely grateful that my son learned something valuable and good from a devastatingly horrible situation in our home.  This is a prime example of God's promise to His faithful believers in the book of Romans....

"And we know that in all things God works for good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28


Today, I am encouraging couples to look over the history of struggles and difficult seasons God has allowed in your marriage and how now, that you are over are approaching being over the hump, how He has faithfully used this for good in some way, shape or form! 

1.  What are some difficult seasons we have walked through that we saw no light or silver lining through at the time?




2. How did these seasons change us for the good?





3. How did these seasons change others for the good?





4. How has God used these seasons for good in miraculous ways we never thought possible?





Through every struggle, God's promise remains for His believing children.  I pray through this devotion you are able to see and discover how very faithful God is!!!  

Peace and Blessings
Your Friends
Missy and Garrick

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<![CDATA[The Blue and Pink Conversation!]]>Mon, 20 Feb 2017 13:04:59 GMThttp://awomanredeemed.com/meaningful-messy-marriage/the-blue-and-pink-conversation
Many moons ago, Garrick and I read a book called Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs.  The focal point of the book is getting couples to understand the basic need for both the husband and the wife.  Women need to feel loved to thrive in a marriage and men need to feel respected. 

These specific needs are not the problem, the problem is the crazy cycle couples get into with these two vital needs.  If a wife does not feel loved by her husband, she will very often not treat him in a respectful manner.  On the flip side men who do not feel respected by their wives will very rarely put a whole lot of effort in showing them the love that they need.  

What happens is, the wife refuses to show respect to a man that does not seem to really love her and a man refuses to put forth effort in showing love to a woman who disrespects him daily.  Emerson goes on to say that one person has to be the hero in the relationship and put a stop to the crazy cycle.  Either the husband needs to begin extended love to his wife he does not feel she deserves or the wife need to begin respecting her husband even though she does not feel he has earned it.  

This is just ONE of the many stumbling blocks in marriage. One of the other things Emerson digs into is communication.   I know, I know, we hear so much about communication in marriage and how vital it is for a healthy successful marriage. 

And while yes, it is important to talk and share your thoughts, feelings and dreams, effective communication can often be extremely difficult to achieve in marriage.  You may have no problem expressing your feelings and thoughts but the problem may be how either you express them or how your spouse perceives them.  

Emerson calls this the blue and pink communication.  A woman hears things through a pink hearing aid, while a man hears things through a blue one.  He gives the example that this is why a woman can call her girlfriends and share her feelings and feel completely understood and a man can do the same with his guy pals.  

Over the past few years and many hurdles we have had to jump over to get to the point of restoration, our communication skills were greatly affected.  We have never noticed the pink and blue hearing aids at work as much as we do now!  

Things my husband will say to me, will come out of his blue mouth in one way, but hit my pink ears in a totally different context.  We thought we would have a little fun with this and share with you so common blue/ pink communication glitches that take place between husbands and wives!

I pray you get a little chuckle out of them if nothing else!

*Wife (pink) asks; How do I look?
*Husband (blue) responds; You look fine, as he barely looks up from the TV.
*Wife (pink) hears; I look boring and unappealing  and like I put no effort into my appearance.  He doesn't care about me and would rather look at the woman on the TV screen!

*Wife (pink) says; I bought some new underwear today!
*Husband (blue) hears: WOO HOO let's go baby!!!! My wife can't wait to get in the sack with me!
Picture
Photo Credit: nywici.org

*Husband (blue) says: If you get around to it could you wash my jeans today?
*Wife (pink) hears: What? He doesn't think I get laundry done in a timely fashion?  What does he think I do all day?  Those jeans have only been in the hamper for 2 days!

*Husband (blue) says; Could you make cookies today and use my mom's recipe?
*Wife (pink) hears What?  He doesn't like my cookies?  He would rather have his mommy's???

*Wife (pink) says; I am exhausted, I need a break!
*Husband (blue) says: From what? Don't I help you enough? What else can I do? She doesn't recognize anything I do.  Why do I bother, it doesn't help anyway. 
*Wife (pink) responds: She is angry and hurt that he would not recognize why she is so exhausted. If he really loved and cared about her, he would see her needs. 

*Husband (blue) says; Can I give you a back rub tonight to help you relax?
*Wife (pink) hears: Do you want me to rub your back in hopes that it will lead to something MORE!!! She may even turn down the back rub!

*Husband (blue) says; Wait up for me, I'll be coming to bed in a little bit! WINK WINK!
*Wife (pink) says: You know what I'll be doing by the time you get in there.... I'm exhausted!
*Husband(blue) thinks; She doesn't love me.  She doesn't care about me.  She loves sleep more than me!

So... as you can see... the difference in the way we express and receive communication as men and women can cause A LOT of unnecessary problems in a relationship!  Every single one of those statements was taken out of context, even though that was the loud and clear message that individual received!

The only remedy to this is to A. understand that you often are hearing what the other person is not saying or intending and B. be consciencely aware of how you speak and express yourself to your spouse!

This is a continuous problem we have to be aware of around here and I pray this sheds some comedy and light on possible communication miffs in your own marriage!!
Peace and Blessings
Your Friends
Missy and Garrick 







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<![CDATA[Marriage Moments With Missy and Garrick Valentine's Day Devotional!]]>Sun, 12 Feb 2017 14:05:13 GMThttp://awomanredeemed.com/meaningful-messy-marriage/marriage-moments-with-missy-and-garrick-valentines-day-devotionalMeaningful, Messy Marriage
❤Moments ❤

(Learning to Let God Lead….. One Day at a Time)
-A Woman Redeemed
Tuesday is Valentine's Day.... the day of "Love!"  Even though we should be making a conscience effort to express our love daily, let us all face it, Valentine's Day makes us a little more intentional about doing so!  

Even though February 14th has been the assigned date for this heart filled holiday..... the "real" Valentine's Day in my mind, took place on Good Friday, when Jesus died a horrendous death. He willingly sacrificed His life to save ours.  He did this with a pure heart, without hesitation, without the expectation of appreciation (actually receiving quite the opposite by most), without reward and without any  selfish gain.  He simply loved in an unconditional, pure manner, esteeming others greater than Himself. 

Though we can strive and aspire to be like Jesus and that is the main focus of our Christian walk, we will never be able to inhabit all of His pure and sinless qualities.  Jesus was and still is the only perfect and sinless man that ever lived.  Even though we will never achieve this level of selfless love, we can aim our arrows to hit that bulls eye.  

As we have talked about many times in these devotions, it becomes to incredibly easy to focus on the negatives in marriage, forsaking the little blessings that we have been given each day.  

This week, we are going to take a trip down memory lane!  I have found that when I am feeling selfish in my marriage, or when I just need a boost of loving energy, it helps me greatly to pull out old photos and letters of Garrick and I.  It removes me from the present, where I may be feeling selfish and lacking that loving feeling and brings me back to a place and time where I felt those feelings at a very strong level!!  It takes me back to the reasons I feel in love with Garrick in the first place.  

So for your Valentine's Dad devotion.... go through some old photos, when you were first dating or your wedding day photos.  Remember the feelings you felt and relish in those.  They are still in there, perhaps buried under children, loads of dirty laundry and stacks of bills, but I assure you, they are there.  

Then, read this scripture and give an example of each time your spouse expressed this kind of love to you.  If you cannot remember any times, perhaps this is an issue that needs to be prayed about.  If your spouse is struggling to remember the last time you expressed this kind of love toward them..... discuss why and pray about God's intervention.  

"Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self seeking, is is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in truth. It always protects, it always trusts, always hopes and always perseveres. Love never fails." 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

1.  When has your spouse shown you patience?


❤Husband’s Response:








❤Wife’s Response:









2. When has your spouse shown you kindness?


❤Husband’s Response:








❤Wife’s Response:







3. When has your spouse shown humbleness, refrained from being proud and boasting of themselves, even if they has reason to?


❤Husband’s Response:








❤Wife’s Response:








4.  When has your spouse shown you forgiveness without bringing up past wrongs, showing great grace and mercy?


❤Husband’s Response:








❤Wife’s Response:









5.  When has your spouse shown you great honor, by placing your needs above their own without expectation?



❤Husband’s Response:








❤Wife’s Response:








6. Share a time that you felt protected by your spouse?


❤Husband’s Response:








❤Wife’s Response:








7.  Share a time when you and your spouse pushed through and persevered through a dark or difficult season, even if you wanted to give up?  Share the hope that you had?


❤Husband’s Response:








❤Wife’s Response:







8.  Can you trust your spouse?  This may be a difficult question for some couples.  But discuss it, if the answer is no, this is definitely an area that needs prayer and God's touch.  If we are to trust our spouse with our lives.... we must be able to trust them in the every day little things.  A marriage without trust... is headed down a very dangerous path. Try not to dwell on the negative but take this need to God and commit to making the answer to this question an eternal... YES!  


❤Husband’s Response:








❤Wife’s Response:






This devotion can breathe fresh life into your marriage!!!  I pray you have a beautiful, blessed and God filled Valentine's Day!!!

Peace and Blessing

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<![CDATA[Marriage Moments with Missy and Garrick Week 17!  The Final Step in the Journey to Forgiveness!]]>Sun, 05 Feb 2017 14:36:03 GMThttp://awomanredeemed.com/meaningful-messy-marriage/marriage-moments-with-missy-and-garrick-week-17-the-final-step-in-the-journey-to-forgivenessMeaningful, Messy Marriage
❤Moments ❤

(Learning to Let God Lead….. One Day at a Time)
-A Woman Redeemed
YEAH!!!  It is our final week on our journey to forgiveness segment!!  And if you have made it this far my friends.... it is a step WELL deserved!!!!  

Forgiveness is a journey I will go to my grave stating that.  Though little transgressions can often be quickly forgiving and moved past, larger, life altering ones, often require a journey of dedication and God leading strength.  

Garrick and I have been on a journey.  Throughout this journey, just as the stages of grief, it is common to move back and forth through the different stages several times.  I often have to be reminded that I am a NEW creation in Christ and have to ability to forgive, even when my flesh does not agree (step 1).  I often have to continually be aware of when I begin to idolize my husband's love and place it above God's desiring for him to meet all of my needs (step 2).  I have had to ask God to humble my heart on more than one occasion, reminding myself, that though my husband's sin has had tremendous negative effects, in God's eyes, sin is sin and my sin is just as devastating to God (step 3). I daily, have to train my mind to focus on what which is lovely in our marriage, that which is honorable and worthy, not the negatives and painful memories of the past (step 4). It is still a struggle for me to give and receive the physical and emotional affection God longs for us to express in our marriage.  It has gotten much, much better, but when I fail to keep on track with steps 1-4, this step becomes increasingly difficult (step 5). 

We are now on our LAST step... and what may you ask is it?????  CELEBRATING!!!  YES.... YOU MUST CELEBRATE the progress you make in healing your marriage!  We don't bat an eye at celebrating other things; children's achievements, birthdays, promotions, awards or any type, but our marriage my friends.... trumps ALL OF THESE!  

A strong marriage is the glue that holds all of those other things in place!  You need to celebrate each step you make!  Celebrate as you an your husband find enjoyable to you;

  • In at home date night!
  • A night out, dinner and movie or just dinner!
  • A night out with friends to toast your achieved step!!
  • A romantic evening of affection expressing (I will let you fill in those blanks!!! LOL)
  • Exchanging little gifts!
  • Writing each other a heartfelt note!
  • Doing something together you have always wanted to do and haven't!!  


The options are endless!  God has lead Garrick and I to do the last item on this list!!  We are both pretty frugal people.  We try to spend our money wisely for the most part and both of us struggle greatly with making BIG purchases, especially for ourselves.  This is how we know this celebration suggestion is ALL God!  

We try to celebrate our successful journey by doing little things such as; date nights at home, going out to dinner, surprising each other with little things (Garrick has gotten very good at this). Last week we celebrated Garrick's first Sunday back in the pulpit preaching by going out for lunch as a family!  But Garrick and I could not be more excited about the celebration we are going to enjoy in April!

God told us about a month ago that we are to take a trip together!  Somewhere that requires a plane ride, without children.  A place we can relax, enjoy one another and also provides some romantic elements.  God assured us.... we earned it!  

So on April 7th we are flying away to Puerto Vallarta!!!!  We are staying five nights in an all inclusive resort, with an ocean view room!  We are going to enjoy long walks on the beach, romantic dinners, massages, beautiful scenery and most of all.... one another, without interruption!  We are going to celebrate God's restoring power and pray that God lays individuals in our path that allow us to share out testimony!  

We are so excited... we are like two little kids waiting for Christmas!!!! LOL  And though money is required.... we could not care less about the cost!  There is not one part of us that does not feel God is leading us on this trip, which makes it even more exciting!  

So please, please, please... CELEBRATE!!!  Your marriage is worth every moment of celebration!  It makes God smile to see His children nurturing their marriage and it is a beautiful testimony to the world.... that marriage is worth the fight and the prize!!!

Thank you for joining us on this journey!!!  We continue to pray for marriages!  May God continue to restore and rescue even the seemingly hopeless marriages!!

Peace and Blessings
Your Friends
Missy and Garrick 
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