There stands two 18 year old kids. Did we think we were "kids?" No...we thought we knew it all... or almost all anyway.
A boy searching for contentment through drugs and addiction and a lost girl searching for control and security through starving her body.
What God would choose do with these two young kids..... we had no clue. A topsy, turvy relationship to say the least. There were points in which my mom did not even allow Garrick in our home because of all the times he broke my heart. (FYI... SHE LOVES HIM TO DEATH NOW!)
I can say, with complete honesty and 100% truthfulness, my wedding day was the happiest day of my life!! I know.... it may sound terrible to some.... as most would say the day they gave birth to their children, an how I love my children indeed, however, my wedding day, the day God finally gave me this man to love forever, was hands down the happiest day of my life.
I never really thought the day would come and when it did, the feeling of completeness I felt was intense to say the least. I cannot put into words the love I shared with Garrick. As I have mentioned in previous posts..... for many, many years, there was no reason for me to feel the way I did about him.... in spite of many broken hearts... I could never shake these feelings!
I have been his wife for 16 years today. On a cold, breezy October day, we became one in a beautiful, old catholic church in Clinton, Iowa.
God answered a six year long prayer that day.
"My beloved is mine and I am his." Song of Solomon 2:16
Here we are 16 years later and even as I repeated those vows.... "for better or for worse, for sickness and in health" on our wedding day..... you could never have prepared me for what God would allow to test our marriage.
What I have learned over the last 16 years is this.....
*If you can't forgive.... your marriage will slowly die.
*If you choose to place conditions on your love..... Satan will make sure... those conditions surely come!
* Though there may be a lucky few, for most of us, the sickness, the worse and the poorer will come..... enjoy and cherish the health, the better and the richer.
*You will fall in and out of love a million times throughout your marriage...... so HANG on... and wait for the love to return.... it always does.
. *You can plan and arrange all you want how you believe your marriage and life should go.... But God's plan trumps yours.... EVERY. TIME!
*It is an ABSOLUTE MUST that you get away as a couple as much as possible! When you were first married... it was just you and your spouse and one day... it will be just you and your spouse again..... and you don't want to find... you are living with a stranger.
*Without 100% honesty in a marriage..... trust dies..... and where trust dies..... a marriage cannot flourish. Where deceit is present..... so is Satan.... and his entire goal is DESTRUCTION.
*My husband and I are ONE. When I begin feeling that tugging at our flesh to separate.... it needs to be addressed IMMEDIATELY! Give Satan an inch.... he WILL take a mile OR more!
*Laugh as much as possible with your spouse! Laughing together.... and sharing joy..... is a huge bonding agent!
*Though sometimes we need to seek counsel in order to get through a hard time..... NEVER, EVER base your marital decisions and anyone or anything except God! You will get many opinions and some unsolicited..... your job is to please the Lord.... no one else.
*Hold hands, snuggle and touch each other. I heard a story of a couple that was seeking marital counseling. They were ready for divorce but gave it one last ditch effort. The counselor had ONE stipulation. They had to hold hands from his office back to their car after every session. He knew... that two were made one and when their flesh touches.... something begins to happen in their hearts. At first you may want to pull away.... but I can tell you... the times I am most angry with my spouse... are the times I also feel the greatest need to hold him. God did that for a reason... He wants to prevent the tearing of our flesh!
Marriage is both beautifully satisfying and painfully challenging! You WILL experience both. Count on it. Because of Adam and Eve sinning.... struggles with surely come.
I honestly don't believe Garrick and I could have made it without God as our foundation and guide. During these last few years... Satan has taken me from deep love to deep rage back to deep love and then back to rage. I had one foot out the door on more than one occasion. But God never let me forget the love I have for Garrick and how underneath all the pain and hurt... it still lives and breathes!!
God's love is a covering for your marriage. If you don't give up on God.... He will never give up on your marriage!!
I love you Garrick! I have no idea what God may will in our marriage for the next years.... but I am sure of this..... His faithfulness.... is our fuel for fighting. May we never quit fighting... the good fight my love!!
Your... flesh and bone.....