Yesterday,, we discussed the topic of benefits!!
When you hunt for a job, often you look at the benefits the company offers. Sometimes, you may even be prone to choose the job with the better benefits over the pay. Benefits can draw you in or deter you from anything!!
Marriage offers many benefits as well; companionship, help, support, physical intimacy, friendship and a partner who hopefully always has your back. But most importantly, if you have a spouse that loves the Lord and places God above all else in his or her life, you reap the wonderful and beautiful benefits of their relationship with Christ as well!
A spouse that loves the Lord will never be perfect, but God will show them how to prioritize their life and how to love others. God is a master at both things!!
Garrick and I have walked through seasons where we were both doing very well with placing God first and prioritizing well and we have also reaped the negative consequences of failing to do so.
As we discussed this I shared that a struggle I have consistently struggled with after having children, is giving my spouse my left overs at night. Being home with the kiddos all day and homeschooling does not wear me out physically, but can mentally drain me to the point where all I want to do when Garrick gets home is stare mindlessly into space in a quiet room filled with chocolate!
I don't want one more person to ask one more thing of me! When I see Garrick's truck pull in I came to look at it is my reprieve finally arriving rather than my husband being to home spend time with me!
This has been especially difficult as Garrick's top love language is physical affection and verbal affirmations. So here he comes home from a long day at work and all he wants is hug, kiss and a welcome from his wife and instead he gets me whizzing past him, passing the baton of parenting with zero affection.
Though he understands and most all parents can understand that type of mental drainage from constant parenting demands, this is a sure sign of misplaced priorities. It is not purposeful, yet once I realize this, it is my job to ask God how to curb it.
I am currently reading a book that is helping me learn how to do just that!!! Desperate by Sarah Mae and Sally Clarkson. It gives practical ways to care for myself during the day, so I am not completely drained when my husband walks in the door. I am also still working how my issue with taking other's emotions and problems on to carry. I have to learn that some burdens are not mine to carry and I need to leave them with the person they belong to. This is very hard for me and has been a lifelong battle. I trust God will deliver me from this in His timing!
Garrick shared that now that he is healthy and completely sober from anything mind altering, he is able to prioritize very well and I totally agree with this.
He shared that when we first became Christians and when we first started the church, he struggled with putting so much emphasis on ministry and church functions he neglected his family. I remember feeling resentful at times when he was prepping a sermon for hours on end or leaving to go to another church function, continuously leaving me to care for the children. The hard thing is this would appear like a good thing from the outside, he was focusing on God, however, God would never ask so much of him that his family be neglected. That was his struggle with learning to prioritize.
Obviously during his season of addiction it was hard to prioritize anything. God certainly went to the wayside and in turn, everything became out of balance and neglected. We would both agree this was an ugly time and in turn our family was not flourishing the way God intended.
Now that God has us back on track.... I can see the beautiful benefits slowly reappearing in our lives. Garrick is extremely diligent in prioritizing God now, and in turn he is placing everything else in his life in proper order. I never feel neglected by him, even with his full time job and trying to build a garage and raise four children, he always makes his love for me known and obvious.
I feel blessed every day to have my God loving husband back!!!
What did you and your spouse assess were your struggles with prioritizing???
It is never too late to get on the right track!
Ask God what need to be done, be obedient and then sit back and watch your family grow and flourish!!!
Peace and Blessings
Missy and Garrick