By worldly standards..... I may not be able to give you much. I don't have limitless finances, I have mental breaking points and physical limits. I don't have boundless energy and I certainly don't have an endless supply of patience.
I can promise you this.... I ALWAYS try with everything in me.... to give you what God has called me to give.... love, grace, protection, discipline, security and a place for your heart to call home.
I fail.... I fail daily. I will continue to fail. But I promise you.... I will never stop trying.
Grace goes both ways. I am called to show and give you grace, with the hope that you too will learn the gift of giving grace in return. Your parents are human, just like you. Though they ought to be wiser, more discerning and stronger than you, they will never completely master this parenting thing. We also need grace.
If I could give you one thing..... even just for a day.... it would not be any kind of fancy material item. It would not be an all day shopping spree, nor would it be an elaborate vacation in an exotic place.
If I could give you ONE thing...... for ONE day.... it would be this...
Eyes to see not just the here and now and what is right in front of you. Not just what your eyes want to see or what the world has taught them to see..... but I would give you sight to see the BIG picture!
I would give you eyes to see what happens behind the scenes of your flesh.
I would give you eyes to see the reason we said no to that party, or activity with friends, was because our job is to protect you from greater harm. To guide you toward the light and steer you from darkness.
I would give you eyes to see the nights we lay in bed in tears, or in vigilant prayer when you have hurt us through your words or our heart break as we cannot fix your struggles with a kiss and a band aid anymore.
I would give you eyes to see we didn't buy you that item you wanted to deny you something but because we are trying to figure out how we will pay for braces, upcoming family vacations and unexpected car repairs.
I would give you eyes to see the moments we sat at the dining room table moving around money and trying to be good stewards with the money God has given us so we can just provide you with the necessities of life.
I would give you eyes to see the sometimes God tells us to say no, because continually feeding your flesh will never produce a God fearing, God loving and God following individual.
Feeding the flesh.... is feeding the beast. It will never ever, ever, find it's fill.
I would give you eyes to see how very blessed you are with JUST what you have today. The blessings that you miss or don't allow your eye to see.
I would give you eyes to see and feel the future, even for a moment. I would allow you to see the pain and struggle that goes into parenting. The immense challenge of being in charge of not only protecting and keeping and individual alive, but to mold them into a respectful, kind, responsible, God fearing adult.
It take every ounce of energy the good Lord provides. It is the most challenging yet rewarding job a person will be given. I would give you eyes to see this..... even for a moment
I would give you eyes to see your words and actions from our perspective. I would give you the ability to feel what we feel and would allow you to see yourself as we see you. I would allow you see how those words stung and how your behavior can often be very selfish even though you can't see that.
I would give you eyes to see that there is so much more to life than the here and now! You have a tremendous future ahead of you... full of God's purpose and adventure!
Though it consumes you at this moment.... there will be a day that the break up with a boy/girlfriend, the mean words of a classmate or the drama of the teenage years will not matter! This is all temporary. All stepping stones to where God wants you. Learn from it but don't live by it.
I would give you eyes to see the beauty of true friendship. There will come a day popularity, and stature will not matter. All you will care about is a friend that will sit with you when you cry your eyes out and pray for God's comfort over your mind and soul. You will long for the friend who ALWAYS has your back, would never betray your trust and will protect your character and integrity as their own. The friend with the greatest "stuff" or attention will not matter one bit!
Above all... I would give you eyes to see how God sees you.
You are perfection to Him. You already hold every talent and git you will ever need to serve Him and live a life of purpose. You are beautifully made, not by chance, not be accident but with a mission He has assigned to you before you were even created. The same God that knew we needed rain, plants and animals to eat, knew the world NEEDED YOU!
What your friends, what the world, what society thinks of you.... simply does not matter in the grand scheme of things. I would give you eyes to see the potential you hold in changing the lives of others in beautiful ways. I would give you eyes to see there is more to life than popularity, friends, cars, mopeds, boy/girlfriends and stuff. Oh how I wish I could give you this gift for one day.
It could change your life.
But.... as much as I wish this.... I cannot give this gift to you. BUT.... God. I can show you God. I can give you hope and clarity through God's strength. I can pray for you every day. I can show you grace. I can teach you how to give it to others.
I can't give you eyes to see the big picture, but I pray I am able to give you eyes to see the One who can.
I love you to pieces!!! I pray you see this every day.
Love, Your Mama.