We are 10 hours away from bringing 2016 to a close. For the past 3 years, at least, I have looked forward to ending the year and starting fresh and new the next, anticipating it will be better.
Sadly, for the past few years, the following year seemed to come with even more pain and heartache. I will not dwell or get into why, as if you are a reader of this blog, you are more than likely very aware of what has taken place in our lives in the past few years.
The past few years have been marked with much sorrow and struggle, but in terms of devastation, 2016 takes the cake.
In this past year my heart has been taken to the brink of shattering what seems to be a zillion times. I spent nights alone, while my husband was fighting and addiction and began to feel as though life could be easier without my marriage. I pondered leaving, I was convicted to stay. I felt betrayal like never before and also experienced a whole new level of forgiving. I wanted to give up, but was given God's powerful strength to keep going, just one more day.
In my weakness, I fell on my knees and realized on my knees is where strength was birthed. I went from believing God would always provide and care for me to KNOWING God will always provide and take care of me. I stood up for what I knew was right and accepted it costing me in the end and found blessings are often disguised in adversity.
So though, there are things I long to leave behind, there are also many things I will choose to take with me.
God shown Himself to me throughout this past year like never before. He revealed Himself through the hug of a friend, the words of encouragement through a loved one, through giving me reasons to laugh in the same moments I was wanting to cry, for allowing me to step out on the edge but never far enough that I would lose my balance. He gave me strength to keep going even though logically, I saw no reason to do so.
He would not let me give up. Ever. I cannot stress to you all enough, what God has to offer you is not just life changing... but LIFE SAVING>
God's conviction saved me from making permanent decisions based on circumstances He knew were temporary and with purpose.
Today.... I leave behind my need to always understand... and embrace the lesson in trust I was gifted. Trusting takes the why.... out of the trial.
Peace and Blessings
Oh, to be content..... each day of my life. If even for just one day. To feel the amazing feeling of complete comfort and peace, surrounding each curve of my being. To embrace the evening with the same enthusiasm I embraced the sunrise.... would be precious.
It is very easy to experience contentment in my life, I would say for short increments of time. Sipping a warm cup of coffee in the glow of nothing but Christmas tree lights, while praying to my Father... is contentment. Soaking in a warm bubble bath, with my eyes closed and my heart open to God's voice... is contentment. To lay in the warmth of my flannel sheets..... and drift off to a peaceful sleep.... is contentment. To hold my child in my arms while reading the same torn and stained book I have read a zillion times before....... is contentment.
Where does all this contentment go? As the sunrises on my coffee and tree lights.... I let is slip away. As I empty the bathtub after my time of peace..... I let it slip away. As the alarm rings and I have to leave my warm cozy bed....... I let it slip away. As my child rises..... and the sweetness in their eyes.... begins to disappear..... I let is slip away.
There is a common thread in all of these scenarios.... "I".... "I" let is slip away. It is so much easier to feel contentment.... when my life is what I "think" it should be. The precious greeting card moments are priceless but fleeting. Real life.... is what is real. The secret to true happiness.... is finding contentment with the sticky peanut butter, temper tantrums, piles of laundry and cold evenings.
"I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances." Philippians 4:11
Even as I type this.... I wrestle with discontentment.... with uninvited emotions and mental battles that want to trump joy and I often let them. Our circumstances may never change. God willing.... if they are difficult..... God may deliver us..... but His timing is not our timing.
The longer you base your level of contentment on the circumstances surrounding you.... the longer you choose to live in misery, turmoil and discontentment. No one ever taught me how to joyful and content.... even during hard times, sad times, loud times or painful times. For most of my life.. I never knew that was an option. Until I had my encounter with my Father.
He taught me that even while beaten beyond comprehension, with their limbs nailed to a cross.... an individuals heart can still be loving, tender and forgiving. Contentment is as easy to grab as bitterness..... but our selfish nature does not want to fight for contentment..... self pity.... is the easy road.
I challenge you today.... to find contentment. For me... this is the reward.... at the end of the race. A peaceful and happy heart.... that is unwavering.... able to stand against the most violent storm and come through it.... all the more content.
Peace and Blessings
Hi There!! WELCOME! My name is Missy. I am 40 years old, I have a husband, 4 children, 2 dogs, 2 cats and a little bit of sanity! I love Jesus but struggle with letting Him lead. Join me on this crazy earthly journey where press on to win the race God lays before us. So one day... we can receive our crown!