Some days.... don't you wish...... there was a way to close the doors and windows to your home and pretend like your little family.... is the only one that exists.... just for a little while?
Some days..... don't you wish you could parent, love, nurture, provide, discipline, train and care for your children without the "fish bowl" experience? Without any other eyes or ears assessing, judging or comparing you? Don't you wish..... you could STOP being the worst judge of them all?
I wish this for all mamas.
I wish you the only voice of direction you could hear, is that of God's or those of great encouragement. I wish you would perfect the skill of walking this parenting journey hand in hand with the One that Created not just your child.... but also.... you.
How times have changed. Even since I was young and I am not that ancient.... yet.
Parenting used to be a personal journey. It used to be between the parent and their children. Parenting used to be filled with community encouragement and neighborhood helpers. Parenting used to be getting the kids together to play and allowing them to work out their own squabbles and problems, not feuding over social media. Parenting used to be a goal of raising respectful and responsible children in which everyone helped one another, they did not compete to see who was the best at this.
Where did this parental insecurity come from? I guess we could trace it back to a zillion different things; the family dynamics drastically changing, the social media and constant focus on who has the best dressed children, the most athletic, the most intelligent, the most popularity, the most beautiful or the most recognized for talents and gifts. We can trace it back to endless upon endless DIY craft and ideas that "good" moms do with their children. We can trace it back to losing the beauty of individuality when it comes to talents and gifts and making it a one size fits all, cookie cutter success!
Our children's achievements somehow, spark a sense of personal achievement for us. If we see a child excelling, we automatically assume, boy, those parents must really have it together, I mean look what their child has achieved. And while the parents support and influence may be part of their success, that child is an individual, that God granted their own set of gifts and skills that are a total separate entity from their parents.
We fall into so many worldly traps.....Good parents; provide the best clothes, the latest phones and technology, the best family vacations! They attend every sporting event their children have on the calendar, even if their children are in three different activities that take up every extra waking moment of the day and leaves the parent drained, exhausted and with nothing left to give. Good parents go into great debt if they have to, to provide their children with the experiences the world has made the norm. Good parents don't serve Cheetos or fruit snacks but all natural oatmeal, flax seed bars and organic apple juice. Good parents don't vaccinate, good parents do vaccinate. Good parents never lose their patience, good parents rule the roost, Good parents put their children above all else, including their self care, marriage and mental sanity. A good parent GIVES EVERYTHING they have to their children.... because the parent that sacrifices the most..... is the winner.
This is everyday. These scenarios and ideals are shouted from the rooftops of our society and while there is nothing at all wrong with some of these things or all of them, what is the pity of it is how it has made parenting a competition rather than a personal journey between you, God and your children. I want you to imagine one day or even a week of no social media, news papers, news broadcasts or even contact with others in the community. It is JUST you, your spouse (if you have one) and your children. That's it.
Would the pressure you feel to be the "perfect" parent decline? Would you find more peace in your life and ways as a parent? Could you enjoy your children more? Could you learn to be more content with the life God has given you and your family? Could you begin to see the beauty in the gifts and talents have given your family members,without the comparison to the world. Would you laugh over and enjoy your bowl of Cheetos not seeing that Mary just fed her children Organic Salmon and sweet potatoes with Grass Fed Butter?
Mama's, parents..... God has you on a personal journey that has absolutely nothing to do with any other parent in the world. I pray, this Mother's Day.... you can learn to embrace the journey YOU are on....and not compare it to the journey another parent is taking. Shut out the darn world and embrace the Heavenly realm. Find more joy in your parenting journey because it is just that.... YOUR journey.
I can promise you.... when you stand before God one day...He will not commend you for anyone else's journey but your own and He will know the heart behind it. Were you invested in your journey with a heart to please Him or were you invested in your journey with a heart to win a worldly competition that in the end..... leaves you prizeless?
Choose the eternal crown....not the one that will eventually be snatched away and placed on another parent's head.
EMBRACE... YOUR JOURNEY!!!
Peace and Blessings